Dachshunds, with their iconic long bodies and short legs, are not just adorable companions but also possessive rulers of their domain. If you’ve ever had the privilege of living with one, you’ll know that these small dogs have big personalities and aren’t afraid to assert their authority. Here are 13 strict rules that Dachshunds have established for humans to follow:
1. Thou Shalt Not Ignore Me:
Dachshunds demand attention and will not tolerate being ignored. Prepare for endless nudges, barks, and pawing until you acknowledge their presence.
2. Thou Shalt Bow Before My Majesty:
Dachshunds believe they are royalty and expect to be treated as such. Bowing or curtsying upon entering their presence is mandatory.
3. Thou Shalt Cater to My Culinary Desires:
Dachshunds are connoisseurs of cuisine and expect their meals to be served promptly and with flair. Failure to provide gourmet treats may result in a cold shoulder or, worse, a disapproving stare.
4. Thou Shalt Clear My Path:
Dachshunds are not fond of obstacles in their way. Humans must clear the path for their royal procession, whether it be moving furniture or simply stepping aside.
5. Thou Shalt Share Thy Bed:
Dachshunds believe that beds are meant for sharing, especially yours. Prepare to sacrifice your space as they stretch out and claim the entire mattress as their own.
6. Thou Shalt Worship at My Feet:
Dachshunds demand adoration and expect humans to shower them with praise and affection at all times. Failure to do so may result in sulking and pouting.
7. Thou Shalt Not Interrupt My Naptime:
Dachshunds take their beauty sleep seriously and will not tolerate interruptions. Disturb their nap at your own peril.
8. Thou Shalt Fetch My Toys on Command:
Dachshunds love to play, but they expect humans to do the fetching. Be prepared to retrieve their toys on demand or face their wrath.
9. Thou Shalt Keep My Wardrobe Well-Stocked:
Dachshunds have a keen sense of style and expect their wardrobe to be filled with the latest canine couture. Humans must keep their outfits fresh and fashionable at all times.
10. Thou Shalt Not Leave Me Alone:
Dachshunds suffer from separation anxiety and will not tolerate being left alone for extended periods. Humans must ensure constant companionship or risk a chorus of mournful howls.
11. Thou Shalt Respect My Authority:
Dachshunds are natural-born leaders and expect humans to defer to their wisdom and judgment in all matters.
12. Thou Shalt Not Withhold Belly Rubs:
Dachshunds have an insatiable appetite for belly rubs and will not take no for an answer. Humans must be prepared to administer belly rubs on demand, no questions asked.
13. Thou Shalt Always Be Loyal:
Above all else, Dachshunds demand unwavering loyalty from their human subjects. Humans must pledge their undying devotion and allegiance to their Dachshund ruler, for better or for worse.
Conclusion:
Living with a Dachshund is a unique experience that comes with its own set of rules and regulations. While these strict guidelines may seem demanding, the love and companionship of a Dachshund are well worth the effort. So bow before your Dachshund overlord, obey their commands, and bask in the joy of their royal presence.