Attention all dachshund owners, I have a piece of knowledge I have gathered over the last two years of living with a small furry dictator that is vital I share with you:
You’re doing exactly what your sausage dog wants you to do, you just don’t know it.
If there was a hierarchy of the dog world, the dachshund would sit at the top because they are not actually dogs, they’re humans wearing small fur coats.
Deep down, the number one trait of a dachshunds is deception, but they hide it all behind their puppy dog eyes that look into the depths of your soul.
Admitting they are adorable was your first mistake. Now they’ve got you in their tiny little wrinkly paws (that somehow get them around at record speed). And they’ve got you good.
Still don’t believe me? Here are the 12 signs dachshunds are the evil geniuses of the dog world:
1. They won’t do things they 100 per cent know how to do, just to embarrass you.

Taking a dachshund to puppy school is a useless activity because it will only make you look like a crazy person.
“BUT THEY KNOW HOW TO SIT,” you will insist to the trainer.
“It’s okay if your dog doesn’t do things on command because that’s why they are here,” the trainer will reply.
Yet in the time you’ve taken to get your dachshund home, they’ve probably mastered a backflip.
Side note – Dogs can tell when you’re upset, and they want to help.